A Paper

Written by Firman Ramadhani

After you have read my story, I am sure you’ll think that I am crazy. But please, try to understand my position and think from my side of view…images

I was born to be a normal baby.  When I asked my parents once, nothing seem different from another baby they said, Although my life is far from normal life. I can feel, hear, and see what other normal people can’t. I don’t know it is ghost or just simply they mocking me.

They say I have hallucination, sometimes they say I need to go to psychiatrist, it means they say I am crazy! Could you imagine that?  To be called crazy by your parents’ friends, your relative, and your school mates? Why it is so hard to found someone that understand me!

I was growing angrier every day. I won’t talk to anybody and I won’t go to school. Lucky me my parents seem not argue about my decision to stop go to school, it was strange thought, my parents were very care about education once, I remembered that they changed after visited my grandmother, maybe my grandmother convinced them.

Each day, I spent my life in my sweet home, no one talking shit about me, mocking me, and give a shit about anything that I was doing. Year by year passed, I felt lonely, My parents changed more strange, they seem didn’t care about me anymore although they were always stay in the home. They talked to me, but nothing warm in their voice. I need to find another friend.

I always woke up by the sound of bell every morning, and found food in front of my house door. It was helping me a lot though, since my parents never again give me food. I think they were given up about me. One day, I was not only found food in my front door but also a boy, he said his name was Albert, and he lived not far from my home.

He and I became friend in no time, since I didn’t have any friend anymore. Usually we spent time in my home, even if my parents seem hate my new friend.  Sometimes we went outside (of course it was because he asking me). Being outside after a long time hiding in the house was awesome. My neighbour  saw me with the strange look when I was playing with Albert, but I didn’t care, maybe they were jealous because now I had a friend again.

When the winter came, albert and I were always playing snow. Usually we threw snow ball to my neighbour house, they look angry, but I didn’t care, it gave me pleasure to annoy them. We spent a whole year together, it was the greater year I have ever felt again.

One day, he asked me to hunt bird. But I told him that I don’t have any gun, and then he said that my parents have it in their bedroom, so I took it and went outside to hunt bird with albert. I went to my neighbour house, because there were a lot of bird in front their house. I shot and always missed. But I need to stop hunting after my neighbour shouted to me. His family went out from the house and scream histerycal, so I ran away and hide in my home, I didn’t know where albert go, he was gone.

Not long after that police came to my house and arrested me, I didn’t know why, It must be my neighbour that told the police about the gun, I saw him, the one that shouted to me in the morning when I was hunting bird, he was standing in front of his house, looked pale.

After answered a lot of question, like “why I kill my front neighbour?”, but I answered “I don’t kill anybody, my neighbour  still live, he watching me taken by you!” they took me to asylum. I Said how about my parents, they said what parents? Your parents have been dead since years ago. I also told them to talk to my friend Albert, but they said nobody named Albert in my neigboor hood. They said i have brain hallucination syndrome, but tell me ? Am I sick? Of course not!

If you found this paper, Please help me to go out from this place, I am at Greystone Park Psychiatric hospital, New Jersey,  you don’t want a person like me still trapped in this place right? Please help!


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